Dear Ms.Davidow,

Currently, I am seated on my parents’ bed pondering about what I can make out of my life experiences. Immigrating to New York from Karachi in 2009 was…life changing. Since then, I have been exposed to a variety of beautiful people, cultures, places, and more. I am a Bayside High School graduate from the Engineering CTE program. Yes, I did graduate in the eventful year of 2020. Therefore, I am a freshman attending CCNY as of Spring 2021 with an undecided major. Initially, my intentions were to become a Mechanical Engineer with a specialization in Aerospace. However, I was not admitted into Grove due to the lack of math credits. Since then, I have decided to apply for Environmental Engineering with a minor in Business Management (if possible).

Hindus in Pakistan make up approximately 2% of the population, making us a minority. The representation in America was slightly better, and to my surprise, everything and everyone was “accepted” into society. On my first day of school ever, I recall swallowing that lump in my throat as I peeped through the door to see the faces of my new American classmates. Although I did not understand their spoken language, I remember their curious eyes. One girl named Vianca put her arms around me and used her soothing voice to converse with me while I silently cried. Partly because I felt so lost, but also because I had found a friend. One by one, she pulled out her supplies, handing each individual item to me and emphasizing how important it was to bring them in next time. Carefully, I analyzed the ergonomics of each supply and connected it to name on the supply list. I knew when she said the No.2 pencils, they were talking about yellow pencils made of wood with a tiny red eraser on the bottom. My teacher gave me my own “book bag” that had my name written on a plain white sticker. When I say, “book bag”, I mean it in the quiet literal sense – we placed reading books in them. Overwhelmed with so many options from the bookshelf, I asked for Vianca to choose any random books to place in my bag. I trust her choice. Looking back to this experience, I am humbled by how I got past the language barrier and learned to socialize, which lead me to so many opportunities.

Deciding on a major was difficult, some told me to follow my dreams while others told me to be realistic and go after the money. I could not even picture a perfect future where I was content with myself. Afterwards, I decided to experiment and mentally note what makes me happy. There was not one specific life I wanted to chase, I wanted to do something for the wellbeing of others while expressing my creative side. My high school experience involved me joining service clubs, planning & executing events, and spending countless nights working on engineering projects. As stressful as it was managing my life back then, I got bursts of serotonin every time I opened myself up to new experiences. One engineering panel I attended involved a woman in STEM that ran a cooking business on the side. I thought to myself, “You can do both?!” During that time, I decided to have a side hustle that would allow me the freedom to manage a business without the constant worrying. Additionally, Environmental Engineering stood out to me because ever since I was younger, it was drilled in my mind that we had to save our planet. However, it was not talked about enough until recently. Through this major I would be able to achieve my goals of giving back to the planet by helping humans and animals alike.

Someone once said, “Every storm in your life is followed by a rainbow.” I would describe myself as a happy-go-lucky person, but some of my friends might say I am just really good at hiding how I feel. Fitting in at school as the new kid who did not speak English was a struggle. Balancing overlapping identities was and is a struggle. Deciding on your future is a struggling. Nonetheless, there is something to gain from each storm and each rainbow.

This entry is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International license.